Parents Who Demand Their Child Be the Best

 

When I was a young dancer, a mother of one of the girls who was from Japan used to glare at me with hatred when we passed in the halls.  I would smile and say hi to her, but she was a raging Tiger Mother.  Our teachers had given me a half scholarship and asked me to work as a teacher’s assistant each afternoon.  The money I made I used to pay for  my classes, pointe shoes, costumes and ballet seminars.  This woman felt her daughter should have been chosen for the opportunity.  She wasn’t.  I had natural teaching abilities that were evident at a very young age..  I was on the studio payroll at thirteen.  My father was impressed that the owner, Mr. Kirkpatrick, deducted social security taxes from my check each week.

Mrs. T. was livid, and she made no attempt to hide it.  She placed extreme pressure on her shy, quiet daughter.  The girl had natural talent, but lacked the drive, desire and confidence to excel.  To me, she seemed extremely obedient, submissive, and almost ashamed.  She looked down a lot, apologetically.

My dad used to tell my brothers and I,  “It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.”  That stayed with me.   In table tennis, if I improve and am able to apply what I learn under pressure, I am happy.  I have played with people from cultures who can’t bear to lose even one point to a woman who looks like me.  They react in a panic, and immediately lie, cheat, or order me to leave the table and play with someone from my own race.  This is the dark side of being a poor sport.  Many are experienced and adept cheaters.  In singing and dancing, you can’t fake what you do.  If you don’t hit the high C, the audience hears it.   If you are out of shape, you won’t be able to perform the choreography to a professional standard.

I am thankful now that I learned as a child to congratulate the winner,  not get upset by losses, and to develop the discipline to go back to class or practice the next day.

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Staying in Your Budget in Retirement

 Today I listened to a story on YouTube about a couple who financed an expensive RV during retirement.  It is eating a huge chunk out of their monthly budget.  I thought about my own strategy.  I drive an older car, and combine errands to save gas.  My hobbies are extremely inexpensive.  I ride my used beach cruiser with my dogs, read library books, play table tennis, and cook and bake.  Most of these activities are free.

I do splurge on travel, but get discounts through a close friend.  I also research and find what is most valuable to me.  As professional dancers, we traveled all over the world  together.  The company manager arranged our flights and the buses to the hotel.  With the Internet, you can really find the best deals and read up on boutique hotels and charming bed and breakfasts.  I have been very fortunate with the places I’ve stayed.  I can usually tell right away from the photos.

I have a few practice partners I meet with regularly to play table tennis.  We do exercises for accuracy  and work on drills.  It’s fun, social, and excellent exercise.  It’s much less expensive to attend the local senior programs than to join a club.  I still would like to have my own ping pong table at home.  My family had one on our back patio, growing up.  We would all play for hours.

Thank you for your comments.  They add so much talent and energy to the blog.  Please reply in English.  I’m sorry, but those with links will not be published.  If you enjoy the posts here, please share them.  Comments may take a few days to appear, they are moderated.