A New Vinyl Fence

 

Yesterday I had a new white fence put up at the cottage.  The old one was sagging, the paint had chipped, and looking at it completely depressed me.  I think it had been there since the 1940's.  It was so distressed and beyond repair.  I settled on a ranch style vinyl fence.  I had some mesh wire put on the inside to keep Lula in, and deter  any coyotes or other animals. 

 After about  an hour, the two workers accidentally hit a pipe and broke it.  I showed them where the water shut off was, and they turned it off and repaired the pipe.  They had the glue, replacement PVC pipe and tools in their truck.  It happens fairly often, from what they told me.

I don't care for solid vinyl fencing because it looks too plastic to me, but I do like the design that I chose.  I studied other choices around Santa Clarita before deciding.   For some reason with three slats it almost looks like wood.  Vinyl doesn't chip, and it should last a lifetime.  I love that I can hose it off to clean it;  it's so convenient.  They  added a small gate and now Lula  has a dog run in the driveway.  She doesn't understand the set up, and stares at me through the mesh, confused.  She sits sideways, and doesn't even watch the street, she is completely fixated on me.   I thought she would act like a guard dog,  but she just looks wistfully at me, as I rock in my glider. on the porch.  "Can I come in?" her expression says,   I think she thinks she's being punished.  As always, she adapts.  When she used to lean at my side  she would become covered with mulch.  I would have to vacuum each time she came back  inside the house.   That's not my idea of relaxation.  

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My Dad Passed Away Yesterday

My dad and I in 2017

Yesterday morning at 10:00 a.m. my dad died. He had been in hospice for the last few weeks.  I went to visit him and say good-bye.  We talked for a couple more times on the phone, but he was very weak.

Having an elderly parent with dementia can be very stressful.  It's kind of a relief not to have to worry about him anymore.  For the past several years I had been very concerned about his driving. He refused to stop. The last time I saw him he said, "Hey Stef, I'm not going to drive anymore."  I kept my response low key, but was thinking to myself, "Thank God!" This morning when I woke up I felt very tired.  I stayed in bed and meditated, and then got up and made French roast coffee in my French press.  I always eat two stalks of celery before putting anything in my stomach. 


Yesterday I made a tuna and noodle casserole. I also went to Food For Less and bought a frozen chocolate cream pie. For some reason I was craving comfort food. Today I made a huge spinach salad, and am answering messages from so many old friends who have called. It's been very comforting to hear from all of them.  Dancers always come through for each other in times of sorrow and loss.

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Aah, the Mountains!

I took the dogs up to Devil's Punchbowl again on Saturday. It is such a special place. I feel like breathing the air up there is incredibly healing. It reminds me of one of my favorite books as a child, Heidi.

Here is the trailhead. We just did the one mile hike. One of these days I will get up to "the chair", but it's quite a distance. The man at the information center told me it takes four hours. I'm not sure if that's one way, or round trip. Soon...

They have a sign in sheet. I love the creativity of it. I forgot to sign out when I finished.

This is the campground where we had lunch. The dogs snacked on their dog biscuits. They eagerly gobbled them up, and enthusiastically drank their water. They are such perfect companions.

The views were incredible.

I have been very busy filling soap orders. It's exciting. I love shipping off festively wrapped boxes of soap that people will receive as holiday gifts. It puts me in the best mood.

How was your weekend?

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Staying Creative

As an artist, I have spent my entire life being creative. When I was a little girl I would make up dances. I loved to pretend that I was a professional dancer. I would watch the Rockettes on television, and dream of dancing in the line with them. The whole idea swept me into a place of tremendous anticipation and excitement. I would stand next to the television and try to follow their steps. I loved the music and the tap dancing. I just knew that was something that I wanted to do someday. It felt like my destiny.

Now that I'm older, I stay creative by cooking, gardening, making soap, and redesigning knitting patterns. It feels wonderful to make things. There's something about getting your talents out into the world that is satisfying. Writing is also a wonderful and free way to express the creative life force. Just recording your thoughts and feelings  in a journal is therapeutic. I often go back and reread my journals from the past. It is so eye opening. We really change and grow as we age. It's interesting to see your perspective on problems a few years after writing about them. One thing that really stood out to me when I read my old journals was that I was riddled with self doubt. Things always worked out, and I learned to trust myself and my gut. The body knows the truth. As the saying goes, "The body never lies."

Once I began writing again, I felt a real surge of  inner electricity.  After my hips were replaced, it was a low time, emotionally. I knew that I probably couldn't dance anymore, and I needed to find something that was fulfilling as a career. Writing gives me that jazzed up feeling. It's exciting, fun, and energizing. We all need something that fills us with happiness and excitement. Often it's something that we loved to do when we were about nine years old.

Our sexuality is directly linked to our creativity. When we aren't creative, we can become depressed. Creativity needs to be expressed. When it's repressed, the body can have problems. Children are naturally creative. They love to sing, dance, and act out stories. They don't worry about making money. They just do it for the pure joy and expression.

When I needed to have my hips replaced my libido dropped severely. I was in a relationship, and wondered if my body was just aging. Was this what happened at menopause? I was shocked. Once my hips healed, I was able to resume my favorite exercise routines and hobbies. My libido returned. I think that there is a direct link between sexual health and general health. When your body is struggling with osteoarthritis, like mine was, it takes all of the energy you have just to do basic household tasks. I found I didn't have any energy leftover. My sex drive had faded. Once I healed and was engaged in life fully again, my energy and enthusiasm returned. People worry a great deal when they are sick. Worry and fear really zap the creative juices. Joy and pleasure replenish them.