When I was a young dancer, a mother of one of the girls who was from Japan used to glare at me with hatred when we passed in the halls. I would smile and say hi to her, but she was a raging Tiger Mother. Our teachers had given me a half scholarship and asked me to work as a teacher’s assistant each afternoon. The money I made I used to pay for my classes, pointe shoes, costumes and ballet seminars. This woman felt her daughter should have been chosen for the opportunity. She wasn’t. I had natural teaching abilities that were evident at a very young age.. I was on the studio payroll at thirteen. My father was impressed that the owner, Mr. Kirkpatrick, deducted social security taxes from my check each week.
Mrs. T. was livid, and she made no attempt to hide it. She placed extreme pressure on her shy, quiet daughter. The girl had natural talent, but lacked the drive, desire and confidence to excel. To me, she seemed extremely obedient, submissive, and almost ashamed. She looked down a lot, apologetically.
My dad used to tell my brothers and I, “It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.” That stayed with me. In table tennis, if I improve and am able to apply what I learn under pressure, I am happy. I have played with people from cultures who can’t bear to lose even one point to a woman who looks like me. They react in a panic, and immediately lie, cheat, or order me to leave the table and play with someone from my own race. This is the dark side of being a poor sport. Many are experienced and adept cheaters. In singing and dancing, you can’t fake what you do. If you don’t hit the high C, the audience hears it. If you are out of shape, you won’t be able to perform the choreography to a professional standard.
I am thankful now that I learned as a child to congratulate the winner, not get upset by losses, and to develop the discipline to go back to class or practice the next day.
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That poor, oppressed (shy) girl! You had a wise dad! andrea
ReplyDeleteI know, Andrea. She had more natural flexibility than any of us, but her mother just beat her down…very sad and damaging to her potential and self esteem. My dad would point out the good plays in my brothers’ baseball games in the car, driving home. He was very passionate about sports and bridge. He told me he liked the competition.
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