Letting Go of Perfectionism

Trying to do things perfectly can really rob us of joy and energy. Attempting to please people who demand perfection can be just as frustrating. My father always taught me, "Nobody's perfect." It's so true. We all have faults and failings. In order to find pleasure and inspiration in our activities, we need to enjoy the process, and to accept the fact that we will make mistakes.

I've found the same principal applies to knitting. I recently finished my shawl, after working on it for almost a month. At times I felt frustrated, discouraged, and upset, because I had miscounted my stitches, or dropped a yarn over. I told myself to learn from the errors, and to not become negative about it. The rows at the end were very long, so I just decided to rip back one row a day, and then put the shawl back in my knitting bag. I didn't force myself to work on it for hours at a time. Lace work can be tricky. Sometimes what seems like a simple row will come out a stitch short, and have to be redone. As my knitting teacher says, "It happens."

I am learning also  not to work for or knit for perfectionists. It is too upsetting to spend so much time on something you love, and then be greeted with a list of faults or perceived failings in the project. There's an expression in knitting. The receiver has to be "knit worthy". It's true. It makes such a difference to give a hand knit item to someone who appreciates all of the time, care, and talent that it has taken to make.

I recently sent hand knit socks as gifts to two friends of mine who live on the East Coast. They are both former professional dancers, and they love hand knits. They raved about the quality and took photos to share on Facebook. It was so sweet of them. It really made me feel happy and uplifted.

On the other hand, one time  I happily turned in some hand knits to a local charity for distribution. I had followed the pattern exactly, and spent hours on the finished items. The leader picked apart my work, made a few unkind comments, and then said that she could redo the part that she had criticized. I had followed the instructions from the woman who runs the organization to the letter. Her video online was very clear.

I realized that this was the wrong kind of management style for me, so I made other arrangements for my charity knitting. Some people you just can't please. They will find fault with everything, even excellence. I decided not to let this situation upset me or drain any more of my energy. Making healthier choices, and being aware of who I knit for and with has made me much happier and calmer.  

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