I realized today that one of the reasons that I love being in the company of successful performing artists is that they are such good listeners. They have the training and discipline to study, practice, create, and evolve. They know how to transcend their egos. Just being in their presence is healing. There's an instant mental connection. They're highly intelligent and sensitive.
On the other hand, if I'm around someone who doesn't listen, talks incessantly, and is talking AT me, I get the urge to flee. I find it so difficult to be in the presence of a person who wants to convert me to their beliefs. It's so jarring and draining. There's a huge energetic clash, and I find the tension is unbearable.
When we connect through the arts, we dissolve many barriers. If we respect each other, and have love and passion for what we are doing, our personal choices don't become issues. We can vibrate at a higher level.
As I get older, I find I need to spend daily time in nature, creating art, and with my animals. That warm connection is so valuable. I spend less time, if any, with people who want to convert me to their political or religious beliefs. I try to keep those subjects to myself. I am aware that my viewpoints may not match theirs.
Culture is a very strong force, and often people just do what their parents did, or what they taught them. Sometimes these ideas collide. What one family thinks is good manners drives another family nuts. It's a challenge to stay centered and to not react. As an introvert, I need more alone time and one on one time than extroverts. I prefer more intimate relationships to large, noisy gatherings. I believe many artists are this way, too, and that's one of the reasons I feel a kinship with them.
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What a great reminder to be a good listener! I enjoyed this post. Like you, large gatherings DRAIN me! And I actually feel dread when I know one is coming up on my calendar. What is your advice regarding events that can't be avoided because of obligation? Have you learned any tricks of how to cope with them?
ReplyDeleteHi Courtney,
DeleteFor me, not staying too long, getting exercise, taking a bath, and singing along to Krishna Das help. Work that uses your talents can be grounding. Just writing this post helped me. Journaling about problems helps us solve them. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Hahaa I know people who talk nonstop about themselves and never listen. And then they wonder why I don't return their calls. :)
ReplyDeleteAs an introvert, I understand why you need more alone time. I like hanging out with my friends, but after a couple of hours I really need to be alone and recharge.
I know what you mean, Nil. Nonstop talking feels very negative. It exhausts me. I need that time to recharge, too.
DeleteAnother introvert here (believe it or not.) I can spend days at home alone and am just fine. What a true post. I actually talk more when I'm nervous which seems backwards. But when I'm at ease, often times nothing needs to be said or empty air space isn't uncomfortable. Or I could just be weird???
ReplyDeleteHi Lady Locust, Sometimes just being in the presence of someone you love is very comforting.
DeleteI am an introvert too and, while I also love connecting with people and hearing their stories, I enjoy the retreat into quietness that comes with being by myself. I find the time to do my own thing restorative. Meg:)
ReplyDeleteWell said, Meg. I feel the same way.
DeleteThere are so many people who love the sound of there own voice out their own voice out there, those people are not for me, I rather have a calm and meaningful conversation with like minded folk, I also don't enjoy large gatherings, and as you I am also finding I want to be with nature more.
ReplyDeleteI prefer one on one conversation and being in nature, too. It's motivating me to replant the lush garden in front of the porch.
DeleteSounds like your excursion to the arts center was just what you needed. What an exciting day for you!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jill. It truly was. The performance was very uplifting.
DeleteThis is a very moving post-thanks for letting us into your thoughts. It sounds like your trip was wonderful. I also crave and require quiet and peace. I think I am this way because of the hectic, jarring and draining career I had. While on site in a pharma or biotech manufacturing facility or laboratory I was "on" for hours at a time-observing, talking, advising, thinking, worrying, stressing. By the time I returned to a hotel at night all I wanted to do was be still. I rarely would even go out to eat.
ReplyDeleteWow, that sounds like a very stressful job, Anita. I bet your knitting was a helpful relaxation tool. Thanks for commenting.
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