Thursday, September 28, 2023

Keeping Your Cottage Instead of Moving Into Assisted Living

 


Time and time again, seniors are encouraged to sell their homes, downsize, and move into assisted living.  Is this the right advice for you?  In my case, it isn't.  Not everyone has the personality to live in those types of situations.  You need to really like being in groups.  Some senior living homeowners  report problems with residents who drink too much, are inconsiderate, and won't follow the rules.  

My parents both spent their final days in their home. They owned a gorgeous Spanish style house that they had taken impeccable care of, restoring it lovingly and nurturing the vibrant garden.  They could afford help in their later years.  A housekeeper came every couple of weeks and took care of the cleaning.  My dad eventually hired a gardener to manage the front and backyard when he was in his early eighties.  He took care of all the plants until that time.  He was very proud of how lush and healthy the front and backyard looked.  

As a person who likes one on one time and privacy, I don't think I would feel comfortable in assisted living.  I like my privacy, spend much of my time on this porch, and I would miss my garden.  I love watching the alpacas frolic on the hillside, observing the bees and butterflies, and seeing the color of the sky shift and change at night.

 Each of the plants I picked out myself and planted.  The soil was clay when I bought the bungalow.  I amended it regularly with straw and compost over the years so that it would support the flowers, trees, herbs and wildlife.

Do you plan on moving in retirement, or will you stay where you are?

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20 comments:

  1. I'm with you on this! I hope I can stay in my home until I'm at death's door! When I was young, old people did just that...stayed in their homes. Sitting outdoors and watching nature are great joys to me.

    Also, in regard to your second to last post, I was just thinking the other day, that I don't know how anyone can get bored. I could keep busy doing something in my house each day. If it's not just relaxing or cooking, it's cleaning and gardening. andrea

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    1. Hi, It sounds like you are living a busy and happy life in retirement. I enjoy those same things that you mentioned.

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  2. I agree with you and I hope to stay in my home and not move to any assisted living. Like you I enjoy peaceful moments on my patios and in my garden. Those assisted living places are too hectic and noisy and rule oriented for me; I volunteered at a fancy one for 8 years so I know.

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    1. So, you have an inside view, Terra. Yes, I love the peace and quiet I experience here. I like the privacy, too.

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  3. I think it depends a lot on your health as you get older. Sometimes, assisted living is the only option. My neighbor T had to go into assisted living because she kept falling several times a week and she really couldn't continue to live on her own. She hated having to leave her home, but, she couldn't afford to have a caregiver with her 24/7, which is what she needed. Her house was sold to help pay for the assisted living expenses.

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    1. That's true, Bless. I can see why your friend needed to move. Selling the home would cover the costs.

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  4. I definitely want to stay here for as long as ever I can. For me, it will hang on how independent I can be and a lot of my motivation regarding keeping fit and staying cheerful is down to that desire. However, I don't want to be a nuisance to my children, both of whom live local so - well, we will just have to see won't we?

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    1. Yes, Joy. None of us knows what is going to happen down the road of life.

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  5. I am not sure. I guess it depends on my physical health and how much support I might need. I would definitely like to move to a smaller single level house, or maybe a main door flat.

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  6. Yes, that's what I have, Christina. I love how easy it is to clean.

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  7. The goal is to stay put here. And I hope I will be able to do just that. There is a bedroom (now set up as an office) and full bathroom on the first floor we can use if the stairs become a problem. I love my garden and patios. There are several retirement communities in our area and I several of my friends have moved into them over the years. Not a lifestyle I want-cliques like junior high school seem to be the norm.

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    1. I plan to do the same thing at the cabin, Anita. I may replace the love seat with a sleigh bed. That way we would be sleeping by the fire. Your garden and patios sound wonderful and healing.

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  8. I agree with you too. Now we are living on one level in the bungalow we intend to stay put as long as we possibly can. Living in a group is not for us. We value our privacy too much. At 73 years old we are both hoping for a good few years looking after ourselves. 😉👍

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    1. I feel the same way about groups, PP. I can handle them in small doses, but I like to go back to my home and dogs. Privacy is priceless! Your bungalow sounds ideal for the two of you.

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  9. I won't move into assisted living. If I can't take care of myself then I'm off to Switzerland for a quick injection.

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  10. Oh, Cherie, you are so funny! I completely understand. I thought the same thing before having my hips replaced.

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    1. I've seen too many sad care homes filled with drugged up zombie like older folk.. Not the way I intend to end my days.

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    2. I noticed that on some of the documentaries, Cherie. It gave me the creeps. I feel the same way that you do.

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  11. I would like to stay in my home and be independent as long as possible. I don't like the idea of being controlled and I watched my Mother in Law first in Assisted living which was ok and then she fell and needed nursing care in a nursing home and that was horrible. She was neglected, occasionally verbally abused, and not well cared for. It was very expensive and one of the best in the area. I hope we can stay in our home with some help if needed.

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    1. How sad, Judee. You never know what those places are really like...I hope you can stay in your home, too.

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