Yesterday I had a revelation. I was trying to keep in touch with too many people! Last week I received: a request for a biography for a Facebook group, two photos, a recipe, a ride, a visit with someone I hadn't seen in thirty-five years, advice for a woman I worked with as a teenager, and money for the neighbor, (who I don't know,) of a dancer I used to perform with in shows. I realized that it was all becoming too much for me. I don't want to hurt any of these people's feelings, but their needs and wants are crowding out my daily responsibilities in life.
I think that many of us feel this way. We can't do everything. We have to prioritize our time and energy. With social networking, it can be hard to keep up with all of the messages. I've had to tell some people that I'm just not available. It's too difficult and time consuming to try to keep up with everybody all the time. I don't think it's healthy. A little of it is nice, but too much can be overwhelming. I also don't want to reconnect with old boyfriends. It totally stresses me out. I wish them well, but am interested in moving forward. Some things and people are best left in the past.
Yesterday I tried on the shawl, and to my surprise discovered that it's almost done! What a thrill. I just need to do the pattern repeat one more time. I am halfway there. There is enough yarn left over to make at least one or two more shawls. Instead of being upset and frustrated with this project, I am now elated. It's looking so pretty. I'm so glad that I didn't give up and rip out all of that work. It took ages. Everything seems easier now. It's amazing how finishing projects can make our confidence soar. Oh, and someone casually mentioned to me that I could give them the shawl if I wanted...
A friend of mine in New York said to me during our last conversation, "That's my other phone. I don't answer it. It's always someone from my family asking me for money."
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Funny you should mention this. I just told a friend that I've reached my maximum people capacity. I'm peopled out. I'm not on social media (this is as close as I get.). I agree; I don't think it's healthy. We need time to be alone and reflect or simply clear our thoughts. Have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteYou, too, Lady Locust. In some ways it can be great, but it also can become too time consuming. Time for reflection is very healing, I agree.
DeleteI think learning to say NO, is one of the healthiest things we can do. Through our life journey we are constantly bombarded with requests to: volunteer, help with an event, donate, and we feel so guilty saying no, until we just burst.
ReplyDeleteWith the wisdom of age, and recent widowhood I am embracing spending time how and with who I want. Time is precious, and so is our life force.
Thank you, for an excellent post. It takes courage and wisdom to say enough. (btw I also just finished a challenging knitting project! Best therapy!) Have a lovely day
Patricia/Fl
Hi Patricia, I'm so sorry that I didn't respond to your excellent post until now. You described the feeling so well. Thank you for your input.
DeleteI suppose there are times when you have more free time to do such things but sometimes it is just too much! And it does sound like a lot! Andrea
ReplyDeleteYes, I've got to keep up on the housekeeping and gardening. There is a lot of responsibility when you own a home.
DeleteI feel the same Stephenie,
ReplyDeleteSocial media can just take over if you let it, I use facebook just for messenger, I have Instagram but don't use that much now, I have not been around in blogland as often as I would like, but other things need to come first.
Have a good weekend.
Good for you, Living Simply. It sounds like you have achieved a healthy balance.
DeleteI also feel the same! I had a Facebook page for a few years, but never posted anything on it because it was not important to me to do so. I only used it to see what others were doing. I never had any other social media account except LinkedIn for professional reasons. When I retired last year it was important to me to draw on some moral courage to get out of an unwinnable personal mess I had gotten myself into, so I deleted that stupid Facebook account and have not missed it.
ReplyDeleteLearning to say "no" is not easy, but it can make you feel so free once you learn how to do it. The phone does not need to be answered, emails can be ignored, you do not ever need to explain your reasoning to others.
P.S. I love your story about the friend and the phone! I laughed out loud!
Thanks Anita. You are right. My friend in New York is very funny.
DeleteI read this on a very similar day as you are having. However, my feelings come because I am a true introvert. I have had three whole days of socializing and making decisions and if I would not have had this day of stillness, I think I would have lost my mind!
ReplyDeleteHi Peace Thyme, What a cool name. Thank you for the comment. I am fairly introverted, too. It's important to have that alone time, with no demands.
DeleteI too feel the same. I don't use instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter, and use Facebook only to connect with far away friends. I have learned to say no and it reduced a lot of stress in my life.
ReplyDeleteThat's wise, Nil. I have gotten some incredible opportunities through social media, and it is very helpful in show business. It has a time and place. I think some women get needier as they get older. They start wanting people to do things for them.
Delete