Turning Self Doubt Into Self Discipline

Yesterday I booked another article. It was a wonderful surprise, as I had been battling self doubt earlier in the week.  My last six magazine pitches had received rejections, and I was starting to feel like an out of work writer. Although it was tempting to slack off, I continued blogging, scribbling down any ideas for articles that came to me intuitively. Sometimes they float into my mind when I'm doing yoga, or vacuuming.  If I don't write them down immediately, they disappear. They are like mercury.

When you work in show business, you need to constantly audition. You attend every call, (whether you feel like it or not,)  until you get hired. It's always easier to audition for a show when you are working. The financial pressure is off, which gives  you a  psychological advantage. Because you are relaxed, you don't radiate a sense of desperation.  If someone behind the table asks what you are working on right now, you have an answer. You don't burst into tears. (which I have actually done when interviewed at a singing audition for a Broadway show.) You've got to have nerves of steel. I'm a self described nervous wreck, but I just keep going.

Even when you are unemployed, (or especially when you are unemployed,) you have to persevere. You need to keep attending classes, practicing,  and studying. You can watch videos on line, read interviews, or examine photos. Each day you should spend at least a couple of hours improving your craft.

I recently was worried about a paycheck that I hadn't received. I didn't want to bother the editor, but was concerned that it may have gotten lost in the mail. I sent a quick email, saying that I hadn't received payment for last month's articles yet, and just wanted to let them know. I got an instant reply, explaining that the checks had been mailed earlier in the week. I also received an email from the editor in chief,  asking me if I would be willing to do a story that I had proposed using a slightly different format. I quickly emailed the editor back, answering, "Absolutely."  My fears had been unfounded. Women often have a hard time speaking up; especially if they were raised that doing so is "pushy".

If we don't ask for what we want, (or what we have earned,) we may not receive it. You are just following up; you are not being demanding. People who make hiring decisions are very busy these days, and they receive hundreds of emails. In business you often have to ask for the sale, in order to close the deal.   It's easy to slip into fear and worry. Artists have to continue our daily work, and set goals. No one else can do it for you. Achieving your dreams takes tremendous self discipline and focus. You have to say no to some people and their requests,  and prioritize your time. It's all worth it in the end. Success often comes when you least expect it.    

A close friend of mine who was a very well known dancer on Broadway once confided to me, "Whenever a show closes, I always think, "Oh God! I'll never work again." Because she was so talented and accomplished, I had no doubt that she would always get work. We have to push through any hesitation or negativity, and stay on track. "Act, or you will be acted upon," my father always taught me. It is so true.  

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