One thing that financial expert Suze Orman stresses is the importance of standing in your truth. It takes guts and strength, but we need to stand up for ourselves, and to not let others walk all over us.
When people trample our boundaries, they are not honoring who we are. Many people will flip into denial, rather than admit that they are breaking the rules, crossing the line, or behaving in a sneaky or dishonest manner.
With cell phones, everybody has a camera now. I have found that one of the most effective tools in dealing with people with boundary issues is to tape or photograph them. They will not climb your fence, trespass, or let their dog run through your yard if you if you document it. The camera doesn't lie. This also can help if you prefer to avoid getting into an argument.
A fellow dance teacher once told me, "Just remember, every time you set a boundary, someone is going to try and cross it." It takes consistency and firmness to teach people that they can't take advantage. Have you ever had someone in your life with poor boundaries? Sonia Choquette says that people with good boundaries are respectful of other people's boundaries. I have found this to be true. What do you think?
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Boundaries, our freedom, are important. Robert Frost said in his poem, "Mending Wall", (plus it is an old proverb)Good fences make good neighbors". Our most prized physical boundary is our home...and when my kids were little our fence kept them in, and others out...lol Today, our phone camera is a very good and useful tool! Andrea
ReplyDeleteIsn't that the truth, Andrea? I feel the same way. Boundaries make all of the difference.
DeleteSigh. I am not very good with setting boundaries, at all! I am getting a little better, now. I'm gradually learning to say no!
ReplyDeleteI think it can be a lifelong project, Bless.
DeleteI have met many people who cross boundaries, both literally and figuratively.
ReplyDeleteI think the main reason is that these people are so inconsiderate and selfish. I’m somewhat quiet and introverted, so it took me a long time to speak up.
What you said about recording is very true.
Hi Nil, I find that sometimes they are also space invaders. They see an open, clean space and want to fill it with their possessions.
DeleteAs you will know from my last post Stephanie I can relate to this.
ReplyDeleteHi Everyday Life, Yes, and I can relate to your post, as well.
DeleteUsing a camera to cement your boundaries is a brilliant idea. Many moons ago in a different city we had a problem with a neighbor who believed our backyard was part of their yard and overall view. Being westerners-we installed a fence in our backyard not out of spite, but because it made the yard safer for our little boys. She was not too happy, tried to make a fuss with the other neighbors about it (no one else cared) and never spoke to me again. Thinking of you with these fires-take care and stay safe.
ReplyDeleteIt's really worked for me, Anita. Dogs are great, too. They are naturally territorial. I'm glad you installed a fence. They are so worth it.
DeleteThank you! 👏🏼 I totally agree.
ReplyDeleteThanks Akasha.
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